Thursday, September 15, 2016

Finding My Tribe

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 6

One person that I admire and look up to is Brenee Brown. I definitely would want to be around her and have her in my tribe! She is a shame and vulnerability researcher as well as an author. I love her work, as it has totally blown the lid off of how I live now. I came from a very heavy shame based community growing up and with reading her work, it has really helped me with all areas of my life, past, present and future. I have taken both of her workshops with a facilitator here in Hawaii and my life is forever changed.

If I were to meet her in person I would ask:

1) what are some of your writing habits?

2) Can we be friends? ;)
Seriously,  can we?

Haha. I would ask What gets in the way of you following through?

Another woman I would love to have as a mentor would be Danielle Laporte. I find her work not only inspiring but empowering! I am all about empowerment!

She is an author, feminist, leader, mother, and I love seeing the new products and reading about her process. She is a no bullshit lady and she cuts through the bullshit but is always encouraging her audience to be authentic and gentle on themselves. I have been heading more into the spiritual arena rather than the logical as of late and I feel very inspired by her.

If I were to meet her, I would ask:

1) What is the number one thing I must do if I have a story to tell and I NEED to share it with people?

2) What little practices help you achieve your goals?

3) How do you deal with overwhelm?\

Another I already consider my mentor, Jessica Valant. She was my first PT and introduced me to Pilates. I have watched her create this amazing online community and business.

1) How did you get started?

2) What are the three things you do every day to avoid overwhelm and burn out?

My Daily Success Plan

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 5

I am not one of those that doesn't have time. I have owned my own business for 8 years so I have time. I just feel I squander it sometimes. While I am still trying to figure out what my next step is, I feel that by setting up a system to structure my time will be extremely beneficial. 

Here is my thought process: 

I usually have all my best ideas in the morning when I first wake up. And I write my best at night before I go to bed. I work well in the mornings, and my brain power is usually on empty by night. Part of my success plan will be to take 20 mins to at least get my ideas out for my blog, buisness, and goals for the day. I usually have a couple hours between studios and clients. I will then work 25 mins on, break and work for another 25 mins before I have to move along to the next lesson. 

My 20 mins in the morning will include:
- Creating a list of my three must dos for the day
- Creating a list of all the things that I need to do
- Creating a list of all the things I would like to get done but that are not necessarily imperative. 


During my 25 mins work section this will include:
- Checking off my three must dos for the day, one of which will most likely be:
- One goal is that I continue to write something every day. Either a blog post, a recipe, a prompt, a short story or a thank you note. 

During the next 25 min set:
- Answer emails
- Dance and pilates studio business

This process will help me get closer to figuring out what my next step will be!

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Tuesday, September 13, 2016


My first superpower would be my ability is to teach others. Especially about their bodies and how to move with efficiently and purpose.  I love to explore conversations about the body and empower people in understanding how their bodies move and how we can improve.

I am good at empowering people and encouraging them to make changes. I enjoy leading people to realize their passion. What lights them up. There are so many people that do work that they don't enjoy, and I am a firm believer in doing something you love love!

One superpower I feel I have is speaking in front of people, and I love it! It really lights me up when I have a message to share to an audience of all ages. I feel comfortable and confident in front of people. I have been told that communication is one of my strengths and that I am supremely articulate. Which is a surprise because I still fumble through words and have a difficult time word finding due to the stroke.

One superpower I feel I hold is that above all, I am kind.

I am good at cooking, creating recipes and sharing my foods with clients.

I love having good deep conversations and making connections with people. Networking is an easy thing for me. I have been told I have the ability to make people feel comfortable and put people at ease. It is easy for me to get to the bottom of how people are really feeling and invite them to be vulnerable.

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 4

Monday, September 12, 2016

My perfect day

My perfect day begins waking up in my husbands arms. He is my best friend and I can be my softest self with him. We kiss and look into each other's eyes and say good morning. We are laying in our beautiful queen bed with crisp white sheets. We then make love, each reaching ecstasy. He then gets up to make breakfast as I stay and meditate for an hour, write my morning gratitude and goals for the day. I meet my husband in the kitchen where he has prepared duck eggs, fruit and coffee or tea. We sit and eat while talking of feelings, ideas and dreams which is always layered with Harty laughter. He is so funny he makes me laugh so hard I spit out a little coffee and he thinks it's adorable. We then take a bath together and have another session in our glorious shower afterwards. We both dress and he is off for the day, as we both work for ourselves so he is off to do him. I take more tea up to my office which overlooks the lake and glorious mountains. I love it here. My creative juices always flow in this space. We are about 30 mins from the ocean, but I preferre to be surrounded by mountains and fresh water. I sit and work on my book for three hours, occasionally stopping to rub my belly and honor the gift we have been given inside me. A girl. She will be born in under four months. I then take some time to answer emails and correspondence with my online community. I have created several online products and programs as well as have written a coupe books. I also book another speaking gig close to home for next weekend, maybe my husband will join me on this one. He always likes to accompany me on my speaking gigs and we like to stay in fancy hotels and get spoiled for a weekend.

When I am done in my office I go for a swim in the lake. It is a gorgeous summer day. Fall is approaching. My favorite! Then when January comes we are off to our hawaii home for two months where my family will be jointing us for a couple weeks. Then, back home for March just in time for spring.

When I am done with my swim I head back I to the house, take another bath and read my book. I then start to prepare food in my magnificent kitchen. I love to cook in this kitchen! We are having a couple friends over tonight as I love to host and share food conversations, ideas and laughter with those I love. My husband arrives home, and helps me add some finishing touches to dinner. Our friends arrive, there is much laughter and deep conversations. We are surrounded by conscious people, who I love. The end of the night comes and my husband and I clean up and head to our magnificent bed. We both read, make love and fall asleep in each other's arms.

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 3

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Discovering My Why

Why do I want to live the freedom lifestyle? 

Simple, to help empower people. 

Seven years ago, I had a major stroke, which left me paralyzed and unable to speak. I was 25 and living a very fast life going to school full time, running my business, choreographing for several studios, running a talent agency and traveling when ever I could. 

Come to find out I had an AVM (Arteriovenous Malformation) in my brain which developed while in the whom. Something I was born with and that we were not aware of. One day while teaching a dance class, it ruptured, leaving me paralyzed on my right side and unable to speak. I was present and aware a great deal of the time, but was very sick from the bleed. Luckily, the bleed stopped on its own and I was left with a long road to recovery...

Meaning I had to re-learn EVERYTHING. 

How to eat with a fork, how to walk, say my name, fasten buttons, math, the alphabet, walk backwards...everything. And some things I am still re-learning. 

Through this journey I was very fortunate to have the recovery that I did, and all the lessons I learned a long the way. My path has lead me down and up, learning and growing in ways that I do not think would be possible if this had not been gifted to me. For that is what I consider it, My Gift. 

I know I survived for a reason (Here are a few stats on AVM's)  I need to share it with the world to help empower people. I need to share this gift of what I have learned and what I have overcome to help people with their day to day struggles.

Through this process I hope to get clearer on how I can do this, with my why leading the way.

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 2

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Finding my focus: Day one of 10

The first thing that came up for me was fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the possibilities, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of having dreams and not going after them, fear of reaching my goals and not being fulfilled. Fear of setting expectations and goals and once again no meeting them.

The second thing for me is lack of clarity. I am at an interesting point in my life where I feel like I am floating. I have achieved many goals and a successful business, but I feel as I have out grown the things I have worked so hard on, just to not know what to do next. That is the main reason I am doing this blog challenge, to see and feel out my next thing.

The third thing would be lack of follow through. For example, I started Natalie's blog challenge last time (see previous posts here) and didn't end up completing it. I have all these ideas but I feel I somehow lack the structure in achieving them. I feel I need to do a major overhaul of my beliefs and mindset. Soul search what my passion is, put a plan into action, and go for it!

"This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 1 [insert URL for this blog post, which is]”

Monday, September 30, 2013

The thing I feel the most shame about and the hardest lesson I am learning

While visiting Salt Lake City for a phase of continuing education and training back in May, I realized that every time I go there, I always put on what I call "My Utah 5." The extra 5 pounds that I have the hardest time avoiding while I am surrounded by family, friends, and fun.

I noticed one day that when ever I walked past the mirror, I would have some kind of negative thought; "Look at how fat you are getting," "Your disgusting," "What a heifer!" "I can't believe you let your self get like this"... blah blah blah.

We all have been there. Those moments of such self loathing.

I have no pride in feeling these things. If fact, all I feel is shame.

But if I were to actually admit how often I have self hate thoughts about my body, you might be shocked and probably would never believe me.  I know I am not alone out there, so I am swallowing my shame and fear of sharing in hopes to give strength to some who need it.

I have always considered and understood that I am extremely hard on myself about my body. I have a few ideas of where that has come from. Probably all those years in ballet class feeling like I didn't measure up to the "thin" and "talented" ones. I don't know how any of us ladies do not have issues after junior high, let alone surviving high school. I have done many studies and research papers on the effects of media on woman and children, so I know there is a lot there. Also, I don't like to think this, but the industry I am in has certain demands and expectations on appearance. This list could go on and on.

Because of this knowledge and self awareness, I feel I am double shamed at myself. I should know better than ANYONE what to be grateful for.

After my Big S I swore I would remember the lessons that I learned and to practice them daily. This lesson I feel has been my hardest: Being grateful for my body...that works. No matter what it looks like.

I can (just to name a few): brush my own teeth, shower on my own, pick up a penny, undue a button, untie (still very difficult) and tie a knot, zip a zipper, eat with a fork and knife, swallow my food, write the alphabet, walk backwards, climb stairs, and as of recently I can run, hop on one foot, and jump (not so well, but I'm working on it), climb a rope, and am working on doing a handstand.

All this and more I could not do and had to relearn. These are just a few of the little things I think I still take for granted at times. I also feel shame for beating myself up about looks and appearance because I am SO blessed that I have all those little things listed and more. Even that I was able to relearn these things I am tremendously grateful. I am forever humbled by those stronger than I who have lost function of parts of their body and mind. They carry on and would probably slap me silly and call me ungrateful if having the chance.

So one day I realized what the heck was doing? I was beating myself up over a few vanity pounds? For this I felt even more shame. This is so not okay! I decided no more. So when I noticed I had a negative thought, I would try to counter it by a positive thought, "You are a beautiful person inside where it counts," 'You are smart and talented" "I am so grateful to have a body that works," "I can walk up those stairs on my own" (Every time I climb a step I say "Thank you," in my heart).  

Soon after this realization and trying to implement this new rule into my life I was talking to a girl friend who struggles with the same thing. There we were chatting when she brought up how "fat she was," and how "my husband probablly doesn't even think im sexy."

When it hit me. 

How can we expect or demand people in our lives to treat us with respect, love, understanding and admiration when we can't even do that for our selves?! I was blown away by the connection that I had just made.

So I invited a few lady friends out for a girls weekend and made it a rule that we were to only practice self love for the next day and night. I did not want to hear any of my amazing beautiful friends talk negative about themselves. Did it work? If me screaming "Self Love" over their comments is considered taking an effect, then yes. I do understand that these habits of self negative talk can not be changed in a night, nor a weekend. There is nothing that hurts my heart more than hearing my fabulous, strong, funny lady friends who are also new mothers mind you, talk so poorly of themselves. I wish they saw what I see, and I am sure they would say the same to me.

I hope who ever reads this walks away with a little more self love. More importantly, the patience to be understanding in things such as this and to help make a change inside. Lets be gentler on our selves, spread the love and look inside at what really matters.

Love your body any way and say a big thank your for every step it takes you in getting you to where you want to be.

Practicing living gratitude daily,

Hillary Brown